Minnesota Fishing and Minnesota Resorts Forum Index  
Minnesota Fishing and Minnesota Resorts
Fishing Reports, Tips, Resorts and Classifieds
  |Search |Usergroups  |Register 
Log in to check your private messages |Log in 
The Lighter Side
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Minnesota Fishing and Minnesota Resorts Forum Index -> Cass Lake Fishing Reports
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
BlueDuck
Angler


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 253

PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a football fan joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I watch football. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he watches football. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he also watches football. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"

What does the average football player get on his SAT?
Drool

How do you get a football player off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store." "But, I'm a football player" the young man replied indignantly "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."

Two USC football players were hootin' and hollerin' while partying on campus when a bystander asked them why they were celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bystander. The player proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4 - 6 years!"

A football fan was almost killed today in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an unplugged the horse just in time.

A little boy and his mother were walking through a cemetery, when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies a football fan and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"

A football fan and a hockey fan are walking down the beach talking about the rivalry between their respective sports. As they are walking, one of them trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. The fans both say they did. "You will each get one wish," said the genie. The football fan offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire stadium so that none of those hockey fans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high, and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!" The genie grants the wish to the football fan and he is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells the hockey fan he will grant him one wish. He says "fill it with water and drop the temperature down to minus 50 degrees."

A group including four football fans were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU fan, a Michigan fan, a Florida State fan, and a Texas fan. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue and climb until they were all crushed by an avalanche saving everyone else from having to listen to their endless prattle.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ffishman
Master Angler


Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 1977

PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Subject: top ten packers

Q. What's the difference between the Packers & the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game

Q. How do the Packers count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. What do the Packers & Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ"

Q. How do you keep Brett Favre out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts

Q. Where do you go in Green Bay in case of a tornado?
A. To Lambeau - they never see a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Packer with a SuperBowl ring?
A. A thief

Q. Why doesn't Madison have a professional football team?
A. Because then Green Bay would want one

Q. What's the difference between the Packers and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the SuperBowl?
A. The Packers

Q. What do the Packers and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

GO BEARS!!!!!!!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Texan
Master Angler


Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 1503
Location: Pike Hole

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FF,

Geno is going to be dissappointed with you Twisted Evil

Texan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ffishman
Master Angler


Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 1977

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

All in fun
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Texan
Master Angler


Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 1503
Location: Pike Hole

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 9:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, the pack looks to be "stuck" with Favre as Rogers has a broken foot....who the heck is their third string quarterback? I'm going to go looking to see what I can find????

Texan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Texan
Master Angler


Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 1503
Location: Pike Hole

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ingle Martin from Furman???? A rookie????? The pack is in BIG trouble if Favre cannot play or re-injures that elbow...not to say they weren't in big enough trouble anyway....

Hey Geno, why don't you have the pack front office call Jerry Jones...bet he'll cut ya'll a good deal for Bledsoe Twisted Evil

Texan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gene
Master Angler


Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 1850
Location: Elmhurst, IL

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 10:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A. I know all in fun.
B. Besides, I started this thread for "...and giggles"
C. We don't need to talk to Jerry. A third string QB can win in the NFL with a good team around him. Look at Grossman (and Romo or Nono or Romeo or whatever the heck is name is - really won't ever be as famous as Favre anyways so no need remembering it). Nyuk, nyuk.

More comebacks later...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
gene
Master Angler


Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 1850
Location: Elmhurst, IL

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Comeback to Bear fans:
==================
When babies are born, they have to apply to God and pay him for brains that he gets from people who have died. They have to pay God by the ounce. One day 3 babies are born at the same time and go to God to ask for brains.

Baby1 asks God for brains to be a Packer fan. God tells him that'll be $1,000 per ounce, and the baby pays God and moves to Green Bay.

Baby2 asks God for brains to be a Cowboy fan. God tells him that'll be $100,000 per ounce, and the baby pays God and moves to Texas.

Baby3 asks God for brains to be a Bears fan. God tells him that'll be $1Million per ounce. Baby3 says to God, "Why so much? The Packer baby only had to pay $1,000 and the Cowboy baby only had to pay $100,000. Why do I have to pay $1Million to be a Bear fan?"
And God says to Baby3, "do you know how many Bear fans have to die for me to collect an ounce of brains?"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
ffishman
Master Angler


Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 1977

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

good one gene
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gene
Master Angler


Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 1850
Location: Elmhurst, IL

PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, it's a good one to use interchangeably with no matter who you want to insult.....just change football fan theme to say, I don't know, occupations, or whatever you want to compare.

Yours and BlueDuck's were real good ones and had me smiling.


Now, I can't quite remember another but it is something about finding so many arseoles in one place and the answer is something like "Soldier Field at a Bears game", but I don't quite remember how it goes.
Anyone know this one?????
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
ffishman
Master Angler


Joined: 02 Feb 2006
Posts: 1977

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

40TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

With a couple celebrating their 40th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the priest asked Butch to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.

Butch replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."

The priest inquired trips to where?

"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Barbados ."

The priest then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands Butch, please tell the congregation what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"

Butch replied: "I'm going to go get her."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gene
Master Angler


Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 1850
Location: Elmhurst, IL

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WORLD WAR 3 IS COMING
=========
George W. Bush and Tony Blair are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Blair sitting over there?"
The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor!What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WW 3."
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one gorgeous blonde with a body that just won't quit."
The guy exclaims, "A blonde with a great body? Why kill a blonde with a great body?"

Bush turns to Blair and says, "See, I told you no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
The Texan
Master Angler


Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 1503
Location: Pike Hole

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Pack on the Field today Rolling Eyes

Texan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
gene
Master Angler


Joined: 22 Jun 2004
Posts: 1850
Location: Elmhurst, IL

PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just don't see the humor in that one Texan.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
The Texan
Master Angler


Joined: 03 Feb 2006
Posts: 1503
Location: Pike Hole

PostPosted: Mon Dec 04, 2006 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now Geno, just picking on you Cool It's not too late to convert to a Cowboy fan!!!!

Texan
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Minnesota Fishing and Minnesota Resorts Forum Index -> Cass Lake Fishing Reports All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next
Page 3 of 10

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Privacy Policy